How to make an Australian beer. Like the quilt thing but better.

All right, this one goes out to Damo who is presently venturing into his first foray for brewing.

This is how you make a beer from a kit. Its relatively simple while at the same time being deceptively hard.

First things first, which i have just done with him, buy the things you need to make the beer in.

what you'll need:

1 x vat
1 x biiiig spoon
1 x water trap
1 x bung
1 x filter (in bung)
1 x sanatizer!
1 x temperature guage

Alright, now that you have everything to make the beer in, you need the beer.

Buy a kit, any kit, and some form of sugar/malt/sugar&malt mix. You need both because the kit provides the flavour and the sugar/malt provides the alchohol. The kit will also come with yeast so for starters you can just use this although, as previously blogged we recommend the buying of premium yeast.

Ok.

Next: Making the beer.

Sanatise the crap outa everythign that will touch this brew. That means the spoon and the inside of the tub (including the inside of the lid). One teaspoon of sanatiser (pink stuff as we call it) to a litre of hot water should do it. Ensure that there are no dark spots or particles left. Rinse the vat out with cold, tap water and make sure the smell is all gone (if you leave some sanatiser in it won't kill you but it will make the beer taste like Tin... not that great - take it from us).

Once sanatised it is ready to brew.

Plop the can of kit mix into sink of hot water after removing the lid and the yeast (make sure you take out hte yeast or the hot water will kill it) and soak it for about 5 minutes. This will allow it to flow out a lot easier.

Pour it in, with the sugar/malt, into the vat. Now pour in about 3 litres of hot water (not a science). Use the now empty can/s to transfer the water into the vat. A hose may not be sanatised and could have spiders and shit growing in it. After doing this, with your nice clean spoon, start stirring and keep on stirring till it is all disolved. Once disolved fill it up the rest of the way with nice clean cold water.

On the side of your tub you should have a temp guage which is a sticker. Ensure that the temperature is not above 30 degrees centigrade (for ales) or 16 degrees (for lagers). If it is then you will have to cool it down with ice or at least leave it to cool in a cool place before 'pitching' the yeast.

Once it is at the correct temperature give it a good stir to airate the mixture then pitch in the yeast (a fancy way of saying tear the top off the packet and sprinkle it fairly evenly over the top).

Then screw/put on the top, put in the water trap and you are done.

Put into a cool place for 2 weeks, try to ensure that the temperature is correct (read the blog about the banana beer) and then its time to bottle.

Bottling will have to wait for another time.

Enjoy Damo you rascal* (read - devo).

Cheers,

Tom

Sammich Ideas inspired by beery good times

Hi guys, these are just some sammiches that we all want to try. I would also suggest that we add to these some BEERS so that the times are even better.

Basically what we, being me and the boys wanna do is make a couple of each of these sammiches, and then cut em up and have a feast. We will then also be drinking beer.

Stay tuned to see how awesomely this panned out.

SAMMICH IDEAS

Pastrami or spicy salami, tzatziki, tomato, lettuce, olives/olive tapenade on either thick toasted slice or a thick, hardcrust brown slice

Egg & mayo, tomato, cucumber, salt and pepper. Goes best on thick white crusty…bread

How about roast chicken, baby spinach, red onion, sundried tomato, mustard and mayo. (evolution – olives instead of tomatoe, avo instead of mustard: pickle instead of avo: horseradish instead of pickle: parallel evo: artichoke in place of sundried)

you’d want something like grilled veggies with goats cheese and sundried tomatoes on ciabatta

German Sourdough, thick sliced; bacon, thinly sliced; Chicked, shredded; tomato; letuce; avocado; swiss cheese; salt 'n' pepper; pickle.


Rye or brown bread; capsicum; pastrami; cheese; cucumber pickle; mustard; some sort of greens.

Tandoori chicken, tzatziki, swiss cheese, brown onion on Turkish bread (lettuce if you want it)

fried borwn onions, green capsicum and mushroom, with thin cut steak, swiss cheese mayo and HP on a hard crust bun.

It started with a hard crust bun, it was rectangular in shape and had flour dustings on top. I started with a healthy serving of avocado on one aide and mayo on the other, then I added Swiss cheese to both sides. Next came marinated bbq chicken in chunks. On top of this was thinly sliced red onions, tomatoes and bay spinach. S+P topped it off and it was lightly toasted.

Garlic imbued eggplant (softened and then fried in garlic and herb butter until coated and flavoured), egg mayo, sliced spicy sausage (or chicken for those that don’t eat sausage) or Rissole with brown onion lettuce and a tiny bit of chilly on over and under toasted roll to give it a bit of crunch.

Chorizo sausage, mint yoghurt, baby spinach, cucumber tomato on a baguette

Celebrating An Arrangement By Adding Leffe To A Tub

Tom purchased the Leffe in advance. I paid for my share in cash and he made change by purchasing a bottle of port, as is traditional in these situations. Plus I got to drink the port. Sucker.

Marc 1 Tom 0

We entered the house, after a brisk walk sharing port and discussing the trade situation in South Korea. It's just awkward for them. Alex A was there, reclining and observing a talkie: Buffy Season 40. I can't believe this show has made it this far without resorting to constant nudity or midget guest stars. While this is an achievement, I suppose, it's a rather depressing one.

As Guest Brewer, I was assigned to Phase One of our complex brewing procedure: tub cleaning. This involved rinsing the tub to remove the dregs of a previous batch of beer. This set the tone for a stylish evening. This operation was conducted in the bath, once various wet clothing and towels were removed from said bath. I set about the tub with a vigorous scrubbing action (fear not, Gentle Reader; I keep my pants on in this version) and soon had the majority of brown goo transposed from beertub to bathtub. Post goo transposal, Tom provided me with a squirty dealie filled with what he assured me was sanitiser. Enough cleanliness to disinfect Uruguay. As it smelt and looked exactly like water, I may or may not have been had.

Marc 1 Tom 1

Enough grunt work! With Phase One successfully completed and the tub sparkling with all the sterilising water I'd sprayed into it, I wanted to brew! I wanted to perform complex recipe type actions, to meld instinct and instructions in a dizzying panoply of daring brew. I thought we would touch the very gods of inventiveness.

Turns out that brewing is mostly adding ingredients to a tub and stirring. Lots of stirring.

We cracked open the first tin. I had actually been expecting a powder. Instead I was greeted with a substance resembling taffy. It was then we had an inspiration. It struck us with the force of a sledgehammer gracefully mowing down a baby chicken. (Chooken? Chick?) Check it. Tom and I would open a toffee store. RedGove's Insatiable Beery Toffee.

Eleven sticky minutes later, Tom and I resumed making the Leffe.

Marc 0 Tom 0

There's not much more to tell. Um. Phase Three! We put the lid on. Tom put a water dealie in the top after turning it over a few times. This was the first thing we'd done that looked vaguely scientific, so I enjoyed it. Buffy fought some underground tree monsters with her sister. They won

We named it Tom & Marc's Haughty Naughty. Mostly because it's fun to say and in a moment of weakness the rhyme...she swayed me.

After the naming ceremony, the Bros. Hebrew gave me another brew to taste. I forget which one, but it tasted like nothing. Like, it was so flavourless, so barely there, that you could use it to drown an enemy, as they would be unable to tell the difference between drinking this beer and breathing. Still, upon making this observation, I was assured that there was alcohol in it, so a beer that's as easy to drink as breathing and still full strength is a result.

That's our courageous story.